When I was a little girl, mom used to say to my sister and I, “Always, be modest. Don’t be too much. Step back. People won’t like you if you stand out.”
Of course, I would listen to mom and would always try hard to fit it and merge with the crowd. No only was I humble and modest, I was also shy and afraid to even to speak during classes at school.
I remember being so embarrassed in front of my peers at school, as I was so scared to express my opinion, because it was different from the teacher’s one. “You are not supposed to stand out,” I heard mom’s words…
My mother is a wonderful woman and she did the best she could with bringing my sister and I up, but she wasn’t aware of the implications of some of her advice. She meant well by telling us to be modest, quiet and meek. That was considered to be a norm in the society we lived in, in the post Soviet Union country. There wasn’t democracy with the freedom of speech and freedom of expression. You were not supposed to speak up and express your opinion openly.
Think of the implication of those beliefs on our life. They dim our inherent light, they suppress our individuality, they put a lid on the expression of our talents and creativity. God forbid, if you decide to say no to something or someone.
And it is common not just in Ukraine, after I moved to the USA and started travelling all over the world, I found out it is present everywhere. Especially among women. Women are afraid to show their light, their uniqueness, and their talents because they think standing out is wrong and selfish, or they are afraid of being judged. Or worse yet, they don’t believe, they are good enough. They become crippled and unable to live into their potential and create the life they dream about.
The problems with the beliefs is that we believe into them, and they shape our reality. But they are absolutely not true. It is not just ok to stand out, it is absolutely necessary nowadays. You need to have courage to show up and be different, not being afraid to express your creativity and your individuality if you want to thrive, not just survive in life.
We can’t afford to live a mediocre and average life now. You were destined for greatness, you were created for happiness and enjoyment. In order to reach that state, you have to be willing to step up and stand out.
In modern times, creativity is the new wealth and ideas is the new currency. And creativity requires courage and being willing to make mistakes. Those who fail most, succeed most.
Are you up for a challenge?
If you want to live a life you’ve never lived before, you have to be willing to do the things you’ve never done before.
I encourage to stand up for yourself and for your dream. I encourage you to say yes to yourself. And I challenge you to say no to anything that doesn’t support you.
Be humble but never diminish your capabilities, your inner light and your unlimited potential. It is a fact that you have unlimited potential: you could be, do, and have anything you want, if you give yourself a permission to do what is required for it. And it begins with your willingness to stand out, to challenge your thinking and your beliefs.
I was struggling as a shy child and adolescent and I am so grateful for my personal growth journey that brought me to the realisation that it is ok to speak up and be assertive; it is ok to be in the centre of attention; it is ok to be able to courageously share my story; it is ok to say no; it is ok to stand out.
I also found out, when you do all those things, you inspire others to do the same. It is almost like you give permission for other women to shine brightly in their own light.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.” ~ Marianne Williamson