What to do when the love of your life says, ‘I want to split up’?
There is nothing more heart-breaking than to hear ‘I want to split up’ from a person you love dearly and with whom you’ve spent many years together…
What happened? Did they stop loving you? Have you done something wrong? Is there another person involved?
Your mind might be going crazy trying to find the logical explanation and to think of a way to fix a situation… You try talking to them, but it feels like the gap between you grows bigger. Coldness and misunderstanding take place instead of love and connection.
Your heart is broken; you shared life together. And life without your sweetheart seems unimaginable…
It is quite painful. And unfair. And it seems like there is no hope…
Should you try to bring them back?
While there might be various reasons why your other half wants to split up, if they announced you their decision, they are serious… Everything just starts going downhill from that point on.
I remember, when I would go back to my ex-boyfriends after breakups. At first, it felt good, I won’t lie. There was hope that everything would be great, but it wasn’t. The same or new problems would be popping up after a short period of time…
To me, it is like toothpaste that is squeezed out of the tube… No matter how hard you try, you won’t push it back into the tube, and it will never be the same.
It is painful to realise it, but you can’t really go back to the same place where you were before. You can’t enter the same place in the river twice. If person lost interest and passion and wants out of relationship, there is no coming back. Even if they did change their mind, nothing would be the same as before…
I am afraid, these words, ‘I want to split up’ will stay between you forever. The power of words is incredible. Words are building blocks of our reality. What is spoken can’t be unspoken. You won’t be able to look at your partner as before.
What do you do?
Let it go.. I know, it is easier said than done. The more you try to fix it, the more you will be twisting the knife in your heart.
I know, it might seem like the world just ended and there is no hope, especially when you have so many memories tying you two together. But it is not the end of the world.
Acknowledge your feelings but keep moving on. Life must go on.
Time will pass and you will be able to understand a higher reason for what happened. We can’t really see the big picture, and understand why it all happens to us.
We can just trust — it is for our own good. The thing is, when we adopt the mindset ‘life happens for me’, as opposed to ‘life happens to me’, we gain our power back.
Don’t ever ask yourself, “Why this is happening to me?”. You will drain your energy, and put yourself in the unresourceful state. Don’t give your power away. No matter what happens, you can always shift the situation to your benefit. Ask yourself, “What is this situation trying to teach me?”
You might be thinking, well maybe therapy or counselling. You might be wondering “Can people be happy again after a breakup?” Of course, there are examples of happy reunions… However, there must be a huge desire on both ends to make it work again. Two people must be committed to go through therapy, deep open conversations, forgiveness, and perhaps time to realise there is no one better out there.
However, if there is only one party interested in saving the relationship, there is little hope. You can’t really force love. I heard somewhere, love is like a fart: if you have to force it, it is probably crap.
Don’t push the water uphill. You will just exhaust yourself and will not achieve the desired result.
A great way to overcome a breakup is to focus on yourself and your personal growth objectives. It will help you distract yourself and move your thoughts from what is killing you to what is growing you.
I always say, personal growth is a new sexy. It makes you more attractive, magnetic, and anchored in your own power. Click here to find out how to attract your dream partner.
Just trust, everything is happening for your own good. The universe is working on your behalf, even when it is painful. Remember, in the moments of pain we are more ready to listen to the higher wisdom.