Give me strength and wisdom, God.
It was the closest thing to me praying.
I was desperate. I got fired from a job. I found the love of my life was sleeping with other women.
Difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations, I kept saying to myself. But it didn’t feel like it. I didn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I tried to keep positive, being a student of personal development.
What I have learned: don’t suppress your emotions, let them out.
If you feel like crying, do so. Let it out. Don’t bottle the negative emotions inside. They will flare up at the most inconvenient time for you.
I was desperate, panicking and my self-esteem dropping lower and lower.
I allowed it to feel the emotions.
It was a dark period in my life. I was lost, stuck and desperate to change.
I was looking for a sign which direction to take to improve my life.
I didn’t realise it at the time, but I had to go through that period to find myself.
Sometimes, you have to reach the bottom to rise to the top.
I was impatient to get a new understanding, a new sense of direction and a clarity in what I should do.
It wasn’t a problem to find a job. The problem was to figure out how to do what I love and get paid for it.
And that’s where the challenge was.
I was looking for a sign.
I was impatient. I was reading books, attending personal growth seminars and conferences, but that crystal clarity all the gurus were emphasising on was eluding me.
And then one day, I was walking in the park, enjoying the beautiful Florida sunset, and savouring light evening breeze. Kids were playing in the park. People were walking with their walks.
I had a heavy heart looking at all those happy people enjoying life. I wasn’t jealous but I wished my life had an order.
And then it just hit me.
You just be. Stay present. Allow the process of becoming.
Don’t force things if they are not flowing. Don’t be impatient.
I had to allow that space for myself of figuring things out by just being, doing my best where I was and expanding my consciousness.
Let it be. Let it evolve naturally. I know you want clarity and relief. And I promise you, it will come if you don’t rush things.
Do what you do best. Do it well. Set goals. Dream big. But don’t rush the things.
If you really want something, it will come.
If you have been looking for a sign, this is it. You are on the right direction. You are where you need to be.
Keep going. Keep growing. Keep evolving.