I was seven when it happened. “Mom, mom, they kicked me out…, I came in the house, ready to explode in tears, hurt and blame, but I was too proud to loose it..
“What happened, honey? Who kicked you out? Tell me..” Mom’s heart was breaking, trying to help me…
But I didn’t want to be weak, so I just said being as cool as I could possibly be… “Well, they didn’t kick me out…The kids on the street just said they were playing a specific game and they had enough people in it already. So, they told me to go home. I am okay, mom. I am just going to play in my room”
With that, I left into my room, shutting the door and suppressing my inner storm… I wasn’t willing to open up and upset my mom. I wanted to deal with it on my own. Besides, I couldn’t see how she could help me..
Now, those kids did kick me out. Literally. They said, they didn’t want to play with me and told me to go home. And I considered them to be my friends… Kids could be cruel.
I was so deeply ashamed and hurt. I felt like a looser!
Life goes on, of course. I grew up and I forgot about that incident.
What I didn’t realise was that I had created a narrative that I wasn’t good enough to fit in. That pattern became so deeply ingrained into my subconscious programming that it was running all my life…
My programming “I am not good enough” was the reason I was attracting men who were either using, taking advantage or abusing me… The worst part was, I wasn’t aware of that damaging pattern that was controlling all my outcomes.
Now, it makes perfect sense: I didn’t love myself to run away from the destructive or dead-end relationships that were sucking my energy. But at the time it was happening, I was completely unconscious of the underlying programming.
It went that bad, that one of my boyfriends actually kicked me out of his house… Because I wanted more from the relationship, I wanted a family and a happily ever after story, while he wasn’t ready for it.
I was 24, when the same scenario repeated itself! Being an adult I felt the same hurt and shame just like I did when I was seven…
It wasn’t until I started working with coaches and mentors that I became aware of the cause of all the problems I experienced in my personal life.
My limiting beliefs “I am not good enough”, “I am not destined for love”, “I don’t fit in” were all part of the negative story that was crippling my life. The men, the circumstances, the outcomes I was attracting were reflecting my beliefs about my myself and my life.
I had to go within. When you fail to go within, you will go without.
When I rewrote the story of how I viewed myself and my life and changed my negative programming, I effortlessly started attracting different people and different circumstances.
I became assertive to be able to say no to charismatic men, who were either playing games or giving big and empty promises.
I started focusing more on myself, my own needs and priorities. You see, before, I was giving my all to a man I was with, often neglecting myself.
I raised my standards in what I was willing to tolerate in a men’s behaviour.
I started operating from an abundance perspective: there are many amazing men who are looking for genuine and beautiful love.
I stopped desperately looking for love and started naturally attracting love.
As the change occurred in me, the change occurred outside of me. As a result, I started attracting high quality men with serious intentions. For the first time in my life, I relished the beauty of choice and the power of knowing that I am good enough!
My high energy attracted my beloved husband!
All this happened because of my decision to change my inner world, my willingness to grow and develop, and, of course, my wonderful coaches who helped me along the process.
If you are a single woman, schedule a free breakthrough coaching session, so I can help you rewrite the story of your life.