Have you ever worked really hard on something, putting so much efforts and it felt like pushing water uphill? No matter what you tried, you just felt more stuck? And in the end, the result was utterly disappointing?
Let me share my personal story.
I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, being so fed up working at a restaurant job.
“You should be a model,” one of my friends said to me. “I mean, seriously, you are perfect for it. You will be highly successful with your looks,” she insisted.
I liked the idea and immediately acted on it, contacting and visiting all modelling agencies in Miami.
Two weeks of consistent ‘no’s’ were beginning to take its toll, making me frustrated. Yet, I am not the one who gives up easily.
I have always been persistent.
So, I kept pressing on, juggling between my job, photoshoots (for an immaculate portfolio), and going to castings. Getting more and frustrated and discouraged each day.
Then, one day I received an email with a subject line, “we are ready to hire you.”
That moment I felt like the world of fame and recognition had dawned upon me. That sweet feeling when your hard work being finally rewarded.
The next day, I was on the way to get hired at my dream job.
The lady at the reception was tweeting away how lucky I was to be selected out of hundreds of applicants.
They offered me coffee and some low calorie cookies.
I had one of those pinch me moments…
I couldn’t believe this was happening. To me. A simple girl from a small Ukrainian village.
The pictures red carpets, haute couture podiums, and lavish parties were flickering in my mind.
This must have been what the realisation of an American Dream felt like.
My exhilarating daydreaming was interrupted by a woman who was going to interview me.
I found it so hard to concentrate battling between the feelings of excitement and nervousness and trying to make a great first impression.
That woman was describing my job responsibilities and talking about travelling all over the world for fashion shows.
And then she handed the contract.
It was serious I thought.
Then she said, “Before we hire you, we have to make sure we have to train you properly.”
“Of course. What is required? And long will it take?” I said trying hard to contain my excitement.
“It is a comprehensive training program of 12 months and there is an investment on your part of $7000.”
I almost fell off a chair. 12 months and $7000 to teach me how to walk and smile?! I couldn’t believe my ears.
“But after, you will be able to make such money and even more in a day. And as a bonus, you will have access to parties with movie stars.” The lady quickly reassured me.
All my dreams crushed that moment.
I cannot remember how I got back to my car.
If something seems too good to be true, most likely, it is too good to be true.
Those women were way too sweet, the kind of sweet that makes you sick. Now, I know why.
I couldn’t understand, why after so much hard work and so many efforts I had no results at all.
What was wrong with me? Maybe, I was too old ( beginning modelling career at 23 was quite late). Maybe, wasn’t pretty or expressive or unique enough.
“I wasn’t enough” was the underlying narrative…
Good two weeks of deep contemplation passed until I realised, becoming a model had never been my dream. It wasn’t aligned with my deep values. It wasn’t who I was.
Deep inside, I knew I was more than just pretty face and long skinny legs.
My purpose in life was not just “look pretty and smile.”
That’s why I wasn’t successful at modelling.
Because I lacked self-confidence I listened to what other people told me. I didn’t know how to listen to my inner voice of wisdom. I didn’t believe I had one, frankly.
I had so many failures that I believed in the story that I wasn’t good enough.
That narrative that was constantly and sometimes unconsciously popping up at every setback was an insurmountable barrier to discovering my life purpose.
So many women who are stuck and struggling that I speak and work with don’t have clarity on their purpose.
You can be the most hardworking person, but if the fundamentals ( clarity on purpose) aren’t at the right place, you will always be struggling and not achieving the results you want.
When I became crystal clear on my purpose and did a lot inner work on my self-confidence, everything began to flow afterwards.
I am not saying it was easy. I am saying, it became simple. And hard work became more enjoyable.
My purpose always adds fuel to my inner fire, even when my body lacks motivation
Click here to discover the process on how to find out your purpose and develop unshakable self-confidence.