Dress, heals, matching purse, makeup, perfume, smile! Check! You are ready for a date with a man you like. How to make it a successful date, so he will call back?
“We had such a great time. We talked for hours. He was very engaging. But he never called back.” Many women struggle with this problem.
What went wrong? How to really connect with a man, so he wants to go on a second and third date, and potentially build a relationship with you? How to really captivate a man’s attention and trigger his heart, so he craves your company?
Just a little disclaimer, it has nothing to do with beauty, sexy body, your IQ, youth, sense of humour, and other appealing outside attributes.
The most common problem why a man doesn’t call after the first date is because he wasn’t emotionally connected with a woman he was with. He might have found her interesting and beautiful, and charming, and smart, but his emotional centres weren’t touched.
Quite often, we, women, treat a date as a potential “one”. We automatically evaluate if he matches our standards, and fits our vision in terms of marriage, family, kids, cats, etc.
Now, we don’t necessarily talk about these things but on the energy level, we are either in the future or we put too much pressure on ourselves to make a fabulous impression, so he can fall in love with us at the first sight.
We demonstrate our best sides, we share stories (maybe, a bit too many stories), we try to be funny..
While there is nothing wrong with being your best self, but if you try too hard, a man feels this energy of invisible pressure. Especially, if there is an alfa male, who is charismatic, handsome and successful. All women are attracted to such type of men.
Now, an alfa male always feels any kind of “trying too hard” energy a woman unconsciously sends. He knows, he’s got an upper hand; he is aware of his position and his effect on women. And he perfectly understands, that woman could be his any moment, but he is a gentleman, so he doesn’t push it.
The mystery, however, is lost. His curiosity isn’t triggered. There is no need for pursuit. Now, all men love pursuit. It is in their biology: they are driven by the hunter’s instinct.
A man’s imagination and curiosity have to be stimulated, so he can further open up and connect with a woman on a deeper level.
That doesn’t mean, you have to play hard to get, be an ice queen or play any games… Men pick up that energy as well, and they are either get distant or engage in playing a game.
So, how do you behave yourself to ensure a success?
First of all, be present in the moment. Don’t build illusions and pink castles. Be relaxed and fun. It is not a marriage proposal. It is a date. Treat it accordingly.
When you are present in the moment, you allow things to naturally evolve. You don’t push it, you don’t work hard at it, you just go with a flow.
Second, be your authentic self. Unapologetically you. If he is to fall in love, he needs to fall in love with the real and authentic you. Don’t wear any masks to make yourself look better.
Third, allow him to talk more and win you over. Listen intently. With your ears and your heart. Look him in the eyes. While you may share things about yourself or some great stories, don’t overshare. Be comfortable with silence. Allow him to be the man and take the lead. Men love when they are in control.
Fourth, keep the mystery going. That’s not being arrogant or cold. Come from a genuine and authentic place. Think of a butterfly, who is so close and mesmerising but just a little bit outside his reach. It is absolutely crucial for the initial stages of dating a man. That’s how you awaken his desire to learn more about you.
Every woman has the power to captivate a man and make him fall in love with her. And it is all about mastering the art of being present, authentic and not attached to any specific outcome.