There are two primary causes why people change. One is pain. The other is pleasure. What moves you? And what driver is more effective?
As a kid growing up in a poor family, my parents were never able to buy anything that wasn’t first nee.
I remember, I really wanted a leather jacket. It was a fashion thing back in the day and I really fancied it. But of course it was expensive so I couldn’t have it.
I also wanted a bike. All my friends on the street had one, and I wanted to be like them to fit in and be accepted. However, it was not an unnecessary expense so we couldn’t spare money on it.
I also wanted to go on school trips and excursions to other cities, but you guessed it, we didn’t have money.
Growing up in Ukraine was tough. Most of what I wanted I couldn’t have.
I just had to be grateful to have a roof over my head and food to eat.
I had many dreams and desires though. I kept imagining what it would feel like to be able to get the things I wanted.
Despite the hardships and poverty in my reality, in all of my desires and wishes I was running towards my dreams, not away from pain.
My mind was focused on the dreams not the problems and hardship. I kept dreaming of the amazing things I would have eventually, somehow.
There were many reasons to be bitter about but that wasn’t my choice. Somehow I cultivated that state of positive mindset that helped me along the way.
There is a lot of buzz on the topic of positive thinking out there. But I am not going to suggest that positive thinking is the clue to all of your problems.
Positive thinking on its own is not enough. There is determination, focused attention, persistence, resilience, and effort. But if you do all those things with the positive outlook, everything becomes easier.
I have found, when I move towards pleasure I have better clarity of what I want and what it will look like. My inner picture of my dream gives me strength and hope, when things get tough on the outside.
You have the power to choose where to place your attention on. Where your attention goes, your energy flows. If your mind is occupied with what’s wrong, it is hard to focus on the solution.
When I moved to the USA ( which was the biggest achievement in my life) and got to stand on my feet, I realised how amazing it is to be able to get what I wanted.
Nothing outside of you will motivate you for transformation, unless something is moved on the inside.
What is it going to be for you? Pain or pleasure. They are both equally strong motivators, but based on my life experience, moving towards pleasure is so much more effective.