I speak with many people in a coaching or mentoring setting all the time.
The reason they are looking for help is because they are not satisfied with their results, they want more, they feel frustrated and stuck.
“I work so hard but not getting anywhere.” It is quite common story.
When we begin to peel the onion to understand where the real issue is, it turns out the only reason that keeps that person stuck is a distorted perception of hard work.
I mainly work with coaches and consultants and their definition of hard work is reading books, doing research, learning from various courses, getting different certifications.
All of this activity is essential and has to be done. However, when it comes to building a business and creating profits, this is not enough and it does not bring the tangible results.
It is absolutely essential to understand the difference between working on yourself and working on your business.
Reading a book will not bring you clients. It will make you a better thinker and a better decision maker, but you need to take additional steps to actually make money.
Many people in the information marketing business are frustrated because they don’t really have a business, they have an expensive hobby with high aspirations.
When you get clarity in terms of what activities bring actual results and what activities help you grow personally, you release frustration.
It is not that difficult to understand: if you are not getting the results you want, you are not putting enough of efforts to generate those results.
Many times, you just have to play the numbers game.
Just because you hear “no” multiple times doesn’t mean you are not good enough ( it is never personal).
There could be multiple reasons why you are not getting those clients or generating those profits.
However, the more action you take, the better you become. You expand your awareness and understanding of what’s working and what’s not working.
By action, I don’t mean just reading books and watching programs ( which again, is crucial for you) but stepping into the battle field.
In most cases, the battle is with your lower self.
The lower self that criticises you, that tells you all the nasty things about your inadequacy, that reminds you of all your previous failures and persuades you that you are a failure.
When you get knocked off, it is easy to take it personally. And it is natural to have those defeating feelings.
But you have to show self-leadership not to stay there.
True mastery is in the ability to detach yourself emotionally from the events that happen to you.
Learn to perceive all the events from the objective perspective, as if they were happening to someone else.
The world is quite simple. Our assumptions ( in most cases, wrong) make it complicated.
For example, you have a conversation with your potential client and they don’t buy from you. A distorted perception is creating a story why that person didn’t buy usually blaming yourself. An accurate perception is accepting a fact: the person didn’t buy, I should move on to the next.
Yes, you absolutely have to evaluate how you show up, what you say and connect. But don’t blame yourself. Self-blame always leads you to a dead-end.
Perceive the world from the description point of view not the evaluation.
When you are not emotionally attached to what goes wrong, you have clear thinking and a better decision making ability to channel your energy to solutions.
The next time you complain that you work so hard and not get any results, have a reality testing. Ask yourself, “what do you work hard on?”
“People see what they want to see and what people want to see never has anything to do with the truth” ~ Roberto Bolano