It was a Saturday morning. I was about 13. I do remember that cloudy chilly fall day in Ukraine.
I was so excited because it was one of the rare trips to to the near town called Shepetivka to a big street market.
Winter was coming, so it was time to buy my sister and I some warm winter clothes. My parents had a pay day.
I couldn’t sleep the night before anticipating the thrill of shopping.
We didn’t get to shop often, and my wardrobe was not only limited, it mainly consisted of worn old clothing.
Facing open or silent mockery at school from my peers was a usual thing that I kind of got used to, but it still was painful each time.
Our budget was limited. And we had to be rational. So, my parents used to buy much bigger clothes for us so they could last for 3–4 seasons.
My initial excitement of the new item would wear off quickly after the judging and awkward looks from my school mates.
I guess, clothing with a couple of years of growth to it produced that effect on others.
I survived but it had its impact on my self-image and my personal value.
Growing up poor made me feel I wasn’t good enough and didn’t deserve nice things like other kids.
When I moved to the USA and got to stand on my own feet, I started buying myself a lot of dresses, shoes, purses, trousers, jeans, tops, blouses… I mean I had a huge wardrobe.
And I still do, when I moved to England, I took most of the wardrobe space ( 2 separate closets and most of the chest of drawers), which didn’t make my husband that happy. He is a fine dresser as well.
But there is a price to pay for having a pretty wife, I tell him.
However, what I learned if you don’t believe you are good enough as you are, no amount of beautiful clothing or outside changes will prove otherwise.
There are so many insecure supermodels who are battling with a poor self-image and often end up on a slippery slope of wrong choices.
The path to transformation is always from the inside out.
Your self-belief, how comfortable you are in your own skin is not dependent on what you wear, where you live, how much money you have in your bank account.
Your worthiness does not depend on how much you have. But ironically, the more worthy you feel, the more things you can get.
Don’t change the outside changes. The effect they produce doesn’t last long. Aim to change yourself and everything else will change automatically.
To transform the way your see yourself internally, click here