Do We Need Roller Coasters in Relationships?

I personally love the thrill of roller coasters.

The release of adrenaline is an exhilarating experience. You know you are going to be fine, because it is safe and secured and proven, plus you’ve seen other people come off the same ride with smiley faces.

But at the same time, you can’t help the anxiety and innate feeling that you are going to die… Especially, when the train is slowly moving up the high slope — that’s when the fear is growing to enormous proportions. And very often, it stops right at the peak of a slope for a more dramatic effect. And then… swoosh, you are flying down, your heart is dropped to your toes… And you go up and down through twists and turns, yelling with excitement and having fun.

Personally, when I come off a ride, I have this delightful feeling of freedom.

It is interesting how through tension you experience freedom.

To me, a roller coaster is like life and relationships. Except for the part, when we gladly jump on a ride in an amusement park because we know we are not going to fall out of a car and hurt ourselves. It is tried, tested, and proven. And it is going to be fun.

But when it comes relationships, at times it looks scary and unwelcoming to step outside of our comfort zone. And there is no guarantee that we won’t fall out. We are afraid of being rejected and hurt. We don’t have the reassurance that everything will be fine in the end.

And many women prefer to stay on the ground. They don’t take risks to experience pressure in order to gain freedom, excitement, and fun.

The truth is there are going to be twists and turns no matter what. There is going to be happiness and sadness, euphoria and frustration. This is what’s called life.

I truly believe in the beauty of love, and bliss, and harmony. But frustrations and challenges are inevitable. And this is not an excuse to stay on the ground and accept mediocrity.

Before I got married to my beloved husband, I had experienced lots of roller coasters in relationships. I had my heart broken and was hurt many times. But just like in the amusement parks, I was fine in the end.

And even more than fine. At times, by loosing myself I would gain my better self. I gained an invaluable experience and expanded my self-awareness.

The twists and turns allowed me to better understand men’s behaviour and their psychology, what attracts and repels them in a woman.

That knowledge was priceless. It prepared me to meet, connect and build a relationship with my husband.

If you are single and your heart desires love, connection and romance, don’t be afraid to jump on the roller coaster, don’t be afraid to take risks. Remaining passive will not bring you a desired change.

What might it look like? Start a conversation with strangers. Go out to places where high quality men are spending time. Ask a man you like on a date. Register on a dating website.

Don’t get frustrated when you don’t meet your Prince Charming right away. You need the roller coaster experience for a reason. There are some lessons you need to learn and understand.

Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. There is no guarantee, you won’t get hurt. But, perhaps, it is through darkness we are able to appreciate light.

The gifts and pearls of wisdom are often found in a trash..

No matter what happens, please, enjoy the ride called life. Trust the process and know that everything will be fine in the end.

Ukrainian by birth, American at heart, world traveler, who dares to go after her ambitious goals. Empowering women to achieve their dreams www.anna-simpson.com

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store